


Everything As It Should Be

by kuscospoison



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Deidara backstory!, F/M, I've been sitting on this for a while lads, M/M, Slow Burn, relationships to come later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19262740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuscospoison/pseuds/kuscospoison
Summary: Deidara backstory! Because he has the potential for a good one but we didn't get it despite him being a popular character.





	Everything As It Should Be

"He's too much like his mother."

That was the catchphrase of his life, back in the stone village. The second one was- 

"He'll never make a suitable Tsuchikage, he's too irresponsible, a dreamer." 

These were all things that were said about Deidara after his mother had left her family behind. Looking back, he understood why she did. The Village Hidden in Stone was a place full of rigid structure and tradition. 

And Deidara, like his mom, had grown to hate every second he lived in that place. Most people thought the mountain range it resided in was peaceful, protective. Deidara felt like he was in a giant cage, slowly suffocating. And the fact that everyone expected him, the firstborn of the Tsuchikage's son's children, to take the title of Tsuchikage someday only helped to increase that feeling of pressure. 

"This whole art thing is a real waste of time. This is a shinobi village, we don't have time for that drivel." Oonoki had pushed over a large sculpture that Deidara had been working on for weeks when he was late for training one day. 

Deidara only glared at him. 

"Maybe next time show up on time, or even show up at all, eh birdbrain?" 

Deidara only stood and dusted off his pants. "I don't really understand why we have to do this, I'm already a jonin in the explosion corps, hm." 

"Hm! Well excuse me Mister Know-it-all, I didn't realize you already knew everything about politics and managing a village! Hmmm!" Oonoki scowled up at him, arms folded. 

Deidara really hated when he made fun of his speech tic. He sighed and resigned himself to a Saturday full of note taking and verbal abuse. 

When he got home, Kurotsuchi was already working on dinner. 

"Kuro, you could have waited. I like cooking, I don't mind making dinner once in a while." 

Kuro shrugged. "I got out of my mission early, so I decided to start dinner."

Deidara sighed and went to his room, looking through books about art and sketching out sculpture ideas. He didn't want to think about everything his grandfather said, or about how his sister and father felt like they needed to tiptoe around him for fear he would flee like his mother. He was like her in a lot of ways. He had her carefree, upbeat personality, her kekkei genkai, her looks. She had even been in the explosion corps like him. After she married his father she started withdrawing, isolating herself. She, like many female shinobi, was expected to quit and be a full time housewife after marriage. Having kids had helped a little, but when Deidara and his sister began going to school was when he began realizing something was wrong.

He had come home from school one day and she was just...gone. Some of her things were gone, and she had left a note saying she couldn't stand this place and everyone in it. 

Everyone including your children? Deidara could only think. Why had she left? Didn't she love them? Didn't she care? Deidara hadn't realized until he became a genin and then quickly advanced through the ranks that the only person in the village he could really relate to was already gone, and while he had loved his mother and always defended her when his family started shit-talking, it made him harbor a resentment towards her as well. 

His life had always felt like a marionette show, he felt like a weaponized puppet from the sand village. Just a pawn moving through a gray and excruciatingly structured life. 

Kuro peeked her head into his room. "Dinner's ready and Dad's home." 

Deidara nodded and followed her to the dining room, sitting with her. His father was already there, silently and methodically eating. 

"Did you hear about what happened today? That envoy from the land of wind is here to talk about alliances with Grandpa. I really hope he takes it, both of our countries could use the trade and help." Kuro attempted at conversation, like she usually did. She was the night to Deidara's day. Hard-working, worldly, responsible Kurotsuchi. She had inherited her father's bloodline of Kekkei genkai, and while she had some of her mother's looks (thank any kami that was listening; in Deidara's opinion, their father looked like a rock and a toad had a very stern child) she had that side of the family's hair and eyes. 

The thought that she deserved to become the Tsuchikage came to Deidara more and more often lately. She worked so hard to become a strong kunoichi and hone many stone jutsu while still being just a genin. She kept up with world affairs, politics, business. Deidara had always felt both jealous and sorry for her. Jealous because she was what their father and grandfather wanted in a child, while Deidara was lacking in so many ways. But sorry for her because no matter how much of a golden child she was she never got the attention and recognition Deidara had had forced upon him from day one. His grandfather had even protested her becoming a kunoichi, saying that because their mother was such a failure that repeating the same mistake was asking for trouble. 

Their father answered this question with a grunt, while Deidara only shrugged. 

Kuro sighed. "Look, you should try to learn this stuff, big brother. It will be really important someday."

Deidara balled his fists. "Important because I have to be the Tsuchikage right? Sorry I'm not measuring up as per fucking usual." 

Kuro frowned. "You know I don't mean that."

Deidara pounded his fist on the table. "THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, HM?" 

Kuro jumped, looking hurt. She glared at him. "Y'know, sometimes we get dealt the life we don't want and it's best to just live with it. Instead of pouting like a baby you should try to at least do your duty adequately. Grandpa's not going to live forever." 

The table exploded under Deidara's hands, his kekkei genkai out of control. "Why does it have to be that way? Why can't we just switch places? I hate this. I hate being a shinobi, I hate this village, I just want my art to have meaning. I just...I just want everyone to understand how great it could be." The yelling match was only escalating, and their father simply kept eating, ignoring it. 

Kuro grit her teeth. "Well maybe not everything is about you!" 

Deidara stood. "Well maybe for once I'd like it to be." He stormed out of the house, not looking back. 

Deidara had ran off to the corners of the village, high cliffs where a lot of genin liked to train. He began molding dirt and mud, a creative stimulation that allowed him to think. 

Everyone thought his art was a waste of time, that it was childish in style and why should he even bother if he's going to become the Tsuchikage? But in reality Deidara had never cared about whether his art was high-browed and sophisticated enough. He didn't even care if it lasted or was displayed for people to see. No, it's purpose was giving Deidara the voice he had always needed but never really had. He liked to watch his sculptures break sometimes. Violence and destruction with his art was a way for him to express the rage and despair he felt. 

And maybe that's what was missing. The biggest emotions Deidara felt were being left out of his art, and that meant that his art was stale and lifeless as a result. So what if it was destroyed? Nothing ever lasts, there's no point in keeping anything if life is just going to be this grim and boring march towards nothingness. Art wasn't just self expression, it was emotion incarnate, a glimpse into the infinity that is the human soul and how quickly it is snuffed out. 

Deidara grinned down at the lumps he had made in the mud. Art wasn't supposed to be just some lame sculpture or drawing, it was fluid, it was violent and bright and-

"-an explosion. Art...is an explosion." 

Why hadn't he realized before? How could no one else have figured it out? It seemed so obvious to him. Maybe that was his real purpose, to show the world how sublime art could be, how it should be. He needed to show the world his art, his true art. But how?" 

Deidara stared down at his hands. His kekkei genkai. The gift his mother had passed onto him that people often felt only disappointment in him for, was the answer. Explosive chakra, it seemed nearly useless, dangerous, hard to control. But what if he made it so that he could control it, like a bomb? He could use his art...he could...no. That technique was forbidden, something he'd only briefly read about when he was a student at the academy. All he knew was that it was extremely dangerous and could kill the user if not executed properly. 

But how else would he combine his art and chakra into something transcendent? He would have to do it, even at the risk of death. It was a win-win either way, anyway. If he died Kuro would get what she deserved and take his place, and if it was successful, he would be able to really change the world with his art. 

Deidara grinned and stomped the heel of his hand down in the clumps of mud he had been playing with. He stood and left, cleaning his hands in a nearby stream. 

When he got back Kuro was waiting up for him. 

"What the hell big brother? It's eleven at night! I didn't know where you were, I thought…" she looked down. "I'm sorry about before. Calling you a baby doesn't fix anything." 

Deidara only smiled warmly. "It's fine, Kuro. Everything will work out as it should be, hm." 

Kuro nodded. "Sometimes I'm not so sure…" she smiled. "I really envy your carefree attitude sometimes, y'know? I get so tired of pretending to be a grown up…" she sniffled and looked down. 

Deidara gently touched her cheek. "Kuro, I need you to do something for me. Could you tell Grandpa that you want to have lunch with him tomorrow? And take him somewhere nice? Things were so tense with us today and I'll be on a mission tomorrow, I thought if I give you some money and my message of apology that'll set things right." 

Kuro smiled, comforted and lulled into a false sense of security. She didn't know that Deidara just wanted to get into that ancient fuck's office to get a piece of that scroll containing all the forbidden jutsu. He didn't even have any missions planned tomorrow. "Of course, no problem. I'm really glad you're deciding to try and mend things with him." She stood. "I think I'm gonna turn in early." 

Deidara smiled and hugged her. "Me too, I'm beat, hm." 

That next day Deidara had gotten that piece of scroll with no hitches and was setting everything up. The jutsu was rather odd, requiring that he draw kanji and symbols on his hands and chest, and noting that he absolutely needed to have twine and a needle to thread it. He would apparently need it for his chest, since anything that went into it would become infused with his chakra and, due to his explosive chakra, would mean certain death (although an incredible art that would truly make Deidara go down in history -- he would need to save that as a last resort jutsu). He felt nervous and afraid as he finished up the preparations and began making the hand seals. He knew as soon as this was done that he would need to leave the village. This would make him a rogue ninja, which he was fine with, but meant he would need to come up with an exit strategy. As a result he had a bag of clay ready made and a plan to make plenty of art pieces to distract any pursuers while he used another art piece to fly away from the village. 

Here goes everything, Deidara finally thought to himself as he finished the hand seals. 

 

Kuro and her grandfather were in town having lunch when she heard the screaming. It was a fairly loud shriek of horrible pain coming from the cliffs on the outskirts of the village. She and her grandfather stood, ready to investigate while some jonin approached her grandfather. 

"Lord Tsuchikage, the scroll of forbidden jutsu has been damaged with a piece of it removed. Your desk has also been badly damaged and burned.

Kuro gasped with wide eyes. "Oh fuck…" 

Oonoki scowled. "That's no language for a young lady."

Kuro shook her head. "It's Deidara! He asked me to...and I thought...he seemed so calm…" She began running towards the cliffs. 

"Stupid idiot dumbass big brother Deidara if he's hurt I'll whoop his ass…" she grumbled to herself. Sometimes she really wondered at the fact that she was the younger of the two. 

Before she could get to the cliffs the gates of the village were crawling with freaky white insects, they looked almost as if they were made of clay…

Kuro was knocked back by the blast, landing back first on the ground. She managed to regain consciousness with a heavy ringing in her ears when she opened her eyes. 

And saw that most of her home was burning. 

The village was being bombed, explosion after explosion lighting the small wooden buildings ablaze like so much kindling. She could only stand and watch in horror. 

Her gaze caught something in the sky, a person on a clay bird. 

Deidara! 

Kuro could only stand there sobbing. This was her fault, if only she had listened to her brother, if only she had realized what he was planning, if only…

She caught a close enough look as he made his last circle over the village, seeing him grin with wild eyes. She had never seen him so happy, so...fulfilled.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been really thinking on this for a while, Deidara is one of my favorite characters to write and I love to get inside a character's head so I hope I did a good job.


End file.
